Don't Be a Putz, Save Dan!

Well, we're sad to report that our pal Dan is the first victim of the Bush re-election. He got laid off this week and we're not sure how long he'll be able to hold out before he has to take to the streets and sell his manjunk for rent money.

Look at him in happier times(pictured). Kinda pulls at your heartstrings, eh? Of course it does, if it didn't you'd be a heartless fucker. Anyhew, we were thinkin' that you the very smart FINK FILE fan would want to help Dan out. Sure, you may be thinking about dropping a Jackson, a Grant or even a Benjamin on tsunami relief, but let's face it that money is destined to line the pockets of some UN croney. Even if it did reach the victims chances are it would be helping some future Al Qaeda operative rebuild his grass shack. (What? Too much?)

Our suggestion -- go buy stuff for Dan (it'll be shipped directly to him!) on his Amazon wishlist. Or even better, how 'bout giving him a gig! He does something involving the internets. Come on, don't be a douchebag, help him out! And of course, cash works too.

Thanks.